Friday, March 10, 2006

I have been going through several crisis moments over the past few days. No one has died or anything. It's just, you know how you feel on those days when it seems life has passed you by. You want to do more than you are doing.
Yesterday, I received some motivation cards in the mail. One of them was about living your dreams now. The exercise was to think about what you want most in the world and then think about it as if it has already happened. I was a little overwhelmed when I began thinking about that. I thought what I've been doing was visualizing, but realized that I stop at the extra-ordinary wonderful things because I don't really believe they can happen. It was like a brick wall was thrown up. Interesting.
We all have things we want to accomplish. I want to get on the Bestseller List. I've not made a secret about it. The problem I am finding with that is I have a tendency to sabatoge myself because I know the work involved with being a bestseller. I know the pressure placed on one who has "made it". I find myself throwing up that wall again.
I've done that a lot over my lifetime. It's a protection deal. I know that, but unless I'm looking out for it, I don't realize I'm doing it. I've been called cold, unfeeling. I don't think I am, but then maybe I don't know myself as well as I think I do.
I'm going to start doing some serious meditation again. I think that really helped keep me centered and on target.
Tomorrow is a new day. I will start over and concentrate fully and with focus where I want to go.
Til Then ~

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